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Funny Tshirts Sayings - Whats yours

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Here are a few that I can remember:

  • Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

  • There are three types of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't."

  • I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

  • I figure I'm pretty good with the bullshit but I love listening to an expert. Keep talking.

  • If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy

  • How can I miss you if you won't go away?

  • There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.

  • We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

  • I'm not as dumb as you look.

  • I'm not going deaf. I'm ignoring you.

  • How can I tell you I love you when you're sitting on my face?

  • God is dead and I want His job.

  • I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.

  • It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

  • Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last.

  • I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

  • Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

  • Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

  • I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

  • Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide bodies

  • My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

  • I'm not getting smaller, I'm backing away from you.

  • Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

  • I don't know what makes you dumb, but it really works.

  • Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?

  • You're just jealous because the voices talk to me.

  • Don't interrupt me while I'm talking with myself!

  • People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

  • Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?

  • I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

  • 5 out of 4 people have problems with fractions!

  • You need someone listening to you for it to be an actual conversation.

  • Do I seem self-centered, or is it just me?

Any more Plz join in, Help to cheer folk up a bit,

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